Denial

At first you may feel numb. Perhaps deep inside you hope that it's all just a bad dream, that someone will wake you up and things will be just as they've always been. Cindy's mother, for example, died of cancer. Explains Cindy: "I've not really accepted that she's gone. Something will happen that I might have discussed with her in the past, and I find myself saying, I'll have to tell Mom that.'"
Bereaved persons tend to deny that the death has occurred. They may even think they suddenly see the deceased one on the street, in a passing bus, on the subway. Any fleeting resemblance can spark the hope that perhaps it has all been a mistake. Remember, God made man to live, not to die. So it's only normal that we have trouble accepting death.
The death of a brother or a sister can likewise stir such feelings. "It's almost ridiculous to feel anger at someone who's died," explains Karen, "but when my sister died, I couldn't help it. Thoughts like, 'How could she die and leave me all alone? How could she do that to me?' kept going through my head." Some find themselves angry at the sibling for all the pain that his or her death caused. Some feel neglected, perhaps even resentful, because of all the time and attention that the sick brother or sister received before dying. Grief-stricken parents who, out of fear of losing another child, suddenly become overly protective can also stir animosity toward the deceased.